went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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