Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize