2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
