he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize