Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
