The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The struggles of a small town man whore
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
