is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
