Betty ford says i'm here all night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
