After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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