It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
