Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
