But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
