you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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