Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
