Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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