Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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