what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
