i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
