shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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