do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
