You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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