If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
