Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
