I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
