Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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