sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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