i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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