you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
