i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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