I didn't shave. On purpose
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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