Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
