LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think people are normalizing furries
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
