Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
