I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
