I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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