we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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