no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize