no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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