why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
