she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
