Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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