you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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