I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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