First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
