plz talk dirty to me
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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