No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Congratulations! We have a period
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