I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
