youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
one might say we're banned from that church
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize