just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
