Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
