It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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