I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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