Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
