Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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