I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
