All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
