Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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