She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize