it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
