I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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