Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We are two peas in an std pod
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
